My First FanFic....EVER...is finally completed xD

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My First FanFic....EVER...is finally completed xD

Post  Skylore-Reborn on Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:58 pm

Grace Harmonious

Ch. 1 Faith Shaken

Darkness took me as I was thrown to the ground. Like a rag-doll, broken, useless. The blood-curdling screams of my companions around me seeped through my soul like an icy poison. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces at the sound. “This shouldn’t be happening!” I thought. As my consciousness swam around through my mind, I struggled to get back up, to fight back with every ounce of my strength. An ancient guttural yell straight through my very core of my being, filling me with primordial fear unlike I’v never felt before.

Taking ragged breaths, forcing myself to stand, I slowly tilted my head towards the heavens as I opened my eyes with trepidation. Never before had a sight so horrid befallen my eyes. Into eyes of utter madness and hate so strong my vision held before me. As swirling orbs of Chaos and despair pierced through my soul. Even as the creature began it’s decent into its final attack, all I could do was look into those eyes, trembling with the blatant realization that this is the end.

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My senses came back to me all in one moment as I lurched upwards, gasping for breath. The sounds of the morning songbirds and rushing waterfalls the only thing to soothe my fevered state. Placing my hand over my racing heart I turned to my left as I sensed questioning eyes on me.

Cerberus inquired of me, “You dreamed that dream again, didn’t you master?”

Still trying to catch my breath I managed a small “yeah.”

“Sky!” a voice suddenly sounded throughout the forest. “Sky! You here?! The mission briefing is about to begin…..hurry up!”

“Crap!!” I yelled as I got up off the ground and quickly brushed my pants off. Running to meet the voice I hurried like never before…the dream completely forgotten. As I came to a bend I saw a familiar face. Derkein, all in he’s Messian glory, saw and motioned for me to hurry up.

“What’s wrong with you,” Derkein said with a laughing smile on his face, “Sleeping in when theirs a mission just around the corner.”

“Oh…you know me….never punctual for anything.” I laughed. All the while running towards Shinjuku Babel.

“So…we still on for that run today?” Derkein asked as they rushed through the Babel Command center.

Not pausing for anything I said, “Not sure, never know how a mission is gonna turn out.” Finally having reached our goal, we pushed through the doors to the Command Room. Inside were dozens of Demon Busters waiting for Yamamoto to give them their orders. Derkein and I fell in line just as Yamamotto came in.

“Fellow DB’s, it is my great fortune that I can say we have finally infiltrated Ogami’s hide-out,” Yamamotto said as he scanned all the Db’s gathered, “now we must act in full. We must put forth our efforts to ensure that this mission goes absolutly perfect!”

“We have selected your teams and assigned priority's,” Yamamotto said. All at once Honored DBs started to group their teams. As I Listened to names being being called and apresent for, i suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see it was Yamamotto himself.

“I have a special assignment for you two.” said Yamamotto, “I want you to accompany Mikinagi’s group into the heart of Ogami’s lair and stop her plans cold turkey.” “I heard great things about you from Snakeman,” Yamamotto said with a small smile,” I'm sure you’ll succeed greatly!”

“SIR!” Derkein and I yelled in salute, as Yamamotto leaves.

“Alright lets move out DBs!” yelled Yamaguchi.

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Ogami’s lair was eerily quiet as we fought through the hordes of Imps of Chaos and assassins, Mikinagi’s skill and his demon slaughtering all in their path. The nearer we got to the heart of the dungeon, my mind wondered to my last meeting with her. Till that day my mind had never wavered from his goal, revenge for Kuroe’s death. Every day I trained my mind, body, and soul. Pushed myself to the limits and pushed farther still….just for this moment. But….her words that day.

They held solom conviction like I’v never heard before. Such anger, such hate, all aimed at the very core of what I used to hold dear. Now….Im not so sure anymore. Her words opened a flood gate of questions I’v never had an answer to before. What do I fight for? Where do I turn to? When all is at wits end. As I sunder demons with my spells, Cerberus ripping them apart, Derkein doing whatever it is he does, I cant help but think. Is this all really the right answer.

Mikinagi held us fast at the entrance to Ogami’s room he turned to us and looked us all over. Then with one snort and a simple “get ready,” and we finally came face to face for the last time.

As she began her talk about the “Overseer” and how he is the only way to rebuild Tokyo, all my previous thoughts were nulled as the face my my Sensei flashed through my mind. This woman was the reason Kuroe-Sensei died. All my training and experience till now flowed through my veins, magic coursing out of me as Ogami, possessed, summoned her minions and began her onslaught. She threw everything she had at us, all her convictions shown in full glory. It was a hard fight, I almost thought we wouldn’t succeed, but flashes of Kuroe-Sensei and Derkein’s ever-present vigil, keep me going through to the end.

As my last torrent of spells burned through her last defenses, she finally fell, her sword flying. But…something didn’t feel right. As I stared at her defeated shell, I didn’t feel the happiness I thought I would feel. I felt pity. Suddenly I saw her sword trusted into my hands by none other then Mikinagi himself everyone having gotten the fallen to safety. With a single muttering, “Finish her,” I felt my whole world fall apart.

TO BE CONTINUED

hmmm....i don't mush like it .....i kinda rushed it.....but thats what im guessing is first story everitis xD anyways im gonna leave this be here and give it a mae over xDD more detailed and actually more people voice interaction xDD and maybe since i dont have a time limit i can do it with class : D hope you guys like my first ever FanFic ^^ look to a better version as soon as i can get it up Razz


Last edited by Skylore-Reborn on Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:15 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : screams...>.< i cant belive i forgot toput that there xD)
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Re: My First FanFic....EVER...is finally completed xD

Post  czdragon on Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:15 pm

introduction... enticed me
body ... intrigued me
ending ... left me wanting more

give it a 8.7/10

=D ... great job

so where's the continuation xD...
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Re: My First FanFic....EVER...is finally completed xD

Post  Skylore-Reborn on Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:31 pm

lol.....i need to add more description and back bone. More voice interaction wouldnt hurt. But i wanted to get to the main point of the first chapter for the event :O Look towards a more spurced up version of Grace Harmonious Ch. 1 Faith Shaken Wink
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Re: My First FanFic....EVER...is finally completed xD

Post  Skylore-Reborn on Sun Dec 13, 2009 11:37 pm

ehh...what a buzz kill xDD i didnt win Y.Y oh well....cant expect to much out of your first try Smile Here were the winners and the link again if you want to check em out. (will put page numbers to winners)

1st GoddessOfStuff (page: 3)
2nd Saucium (page:2)
3rd SummonerSleuth (page:3)

http://forums.aeriagames.com/viewtopic.php?t=612909


sigh Y.Y.....*goes to sleep*
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Re: My First FanFic....EVER...is finally completed xD

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